My Daughter Loved Me Before I Got High

Before his daughter learned to listen for whether he was breathing, Darryl Carter learned to listen for what was wrong beneath a hood.

Darryl “Dice” Carter was a gifted mechanic long before he became the father Nia had to survive. Raised in a home where love came with excuses and children learned to carry adult burdens, Darryl believed talent, loyalty, and good intentions could repair anything.

Then pain pills offered him relief he could not find anywhere else.

As addiction begins taking his work, relationships, and the daughter who once called him her heart, Dice keeps mistaking remorse for change and love for permission. Every return feels like another chance. Every relapse teaches Nia that keeping her father alive will always cost her something.

Told from the father’s perspective, My Daughter Loved Me Before I Got High exposes the childhood, choices, pain, and self-deception behind the man Nia loved—without asking readers to excuse the harm he caused.

When another overdose leaves Darryl facing everything his addiction destroyed, he must decide whether recovery means getting his family back—or finally accepting that love does not entitle him to their access.

He was not born broken. But understanding him is not the same as forgiving him.